In Memoriam Neil Simon
Uit: The Odd Couple
« OSCAR. What do you mean you didn’t take anything? What did you take?
FELIX. (Sitting on couch.) Nothing! Nothing! I didn’t take anything. .. . Don’t tell Frances what I did, please! . . . Oohh, my stomach.
MURRAY. He took something! I’m telling you he took something.
OSCAR. What, Felix? What?? Feta Nothing! I didn’t take anything.
OSCAR. Pills? Did you take pills?
FELIX. No! No! OSCAR. (Grabbing FELIX.) Don’t lie to me, Felix. Did you take pills?
FELIX. No, I didn’t. I didn’t take anything.
MURRAY. Thank God, he didn’t take pills. (ALL relax and take a breath of relief.)
FELIX. Just a few, that’s all. (ALL react in alarm and concern over the pills.)
OSCAR. He took pills.
MURRAY. How many pills?
OSCAR. What kind of pills? Feta I don’t know what kind. Little green ones. I just grabbed anything out of her medicine cabinet… . I must have been crazy.
OSCAR. Didn’t you look? Didn’t you see what kind?
FELIX. I couldn’t see. The light’s broken. Don’t call Frances. Don’t tell her. I’m so ashamed. So ashamed.
Jack Klugman (Oscar) en Tony Randall (Felix) in de tv-serie (1970 – 1975)
OSCAR. Felix, how-many-pills-did-you-take?
FELIX. I don’t know. I can’t remember.
OSCAR. I’m calling Frances.
FELIX. (Grabs him.) No! Don’t call her. Don’t call her. If she hears I took a whole bottle of pills . .
OSCAR. (To MURRAY.) You don’t even know what kind/
MURRAY. What’s the difference? He took-a-whole-bottle!
OSCAR. Maybe they were vitamins. He could be the healthiest one in the room! . . . Take it easy, will you?
FELIX. Don’t call Frances. Promise me you won’t call Frances.
MURRAY. Open his collar. Open the window. Give him some air.
SPEED. Walk him around. Don’t let him go to sleep. (SPEED and MURRAY pick FELIX up and walk him around, while ROY rubs his wrists.) Roy. Rub his wrists. Keep his circulation going.
VINNIE. (Running to bathroom to get a compress.) A cold compress. Put a cold compress on his neck. (They sit FELIX in the armchair, still chattering in alarm.)
OSCAR. One doctor at a time, heh? All the interns shut the hell up!
FELIX. I’m all right. I’ll be all right. . . . (To OSCAR urgently.) You didn’t call Frances, did you?“
Neil Simon (4 juli 1927 – 26 augustus 2018)