Uit: The Odd Couple
“ROY. She can do it, you know.
ROY. Throw you in jail. For non-support of the kids.
OSCAR. Never. If she can’t call me once a week to aggravate me, she’s not happy. (Crosses to bar.)
MURRAY. It doesn’t bother you? That you can go to jail? Or that maybe your kids don’t have enough clothe or enough to eat?
OSCAR. Murray . . . Poland could live for a year on what my kids leave over for lunch! . . . Can we play cards? (Refills drink.)
ROY. But that’s the point. You shouldn’t be in this kind of trouble. It’s because you don’t know how to man-age anything. I should know, I’m your accountant.
OSCAR. (Crossing to table.) If you’re my accountant, how come I need money?
ROY. If you need money, how come you play poker?
OSCAR. Because I need money.
ROY. But you always lose.
OSCAR. That’s why I need the money! . . . Listen, I’m not complaining. You’re complaining. I get along all right. I’m living.
ROY. Alone? In eight dirty rooms?
OSCAR. If I win tonight, I’ll buy a broom.
(MURRAY and SPEED buy chips from VINNIE, and Mtm-w begins to shuffle the deck for a game of draw.)
ROY. That’s not what you need. What you need is a wife.
OSCAR. How can I afford a wife when I can’t afford a broom?
ROY. Then don’t play poker.
OSCAR. (Puts down drink, rushes to ROY and they struggle over the bag of potato chips, which rips showering EVERYONE, who ALt. begin to yell at one another.) Then don’t come to my house and eat my potato chips?
MURRAY. What are you yelling about? We’re playing a friendly game.”
Neil Simon (New York, 4 juli 1927)
Jack Lemmon en Walter Matthau in de gelijknamige film uit 1968